Working Mom Guilt Is Real—But You’re Not a Bad Mom for Wanting Both

You love your kids with your whole heart, and you also love your career (or at least parts of it). And yet, somehow, you constantly feel like you’re letting someone down. The guilt creeps in during daycare drop-off, when you miss a bedtime because of a late meeting, or even when you look forward to being at work. You think: Am I allowed to want both? Am I a bad mom for not wanting to be home all the time?

Let me say this clearly and with so much love: You’re not a bad mom for wanting both.

I’ve sat with so many mothers—new moms, moms of toddlers, moms of teens—who are trying to make peace with this tug-of-war between family and career. The guilt is real. But so is your right to have a life that includes motherhood and meaningful work, whatever that looks like for you.

Let’s talk about it.

The Pressure Cooker of Modern Motherhood

Today’s moms are living under an impossible set of expectations. Be fully present with your kids. Be ambitious at work, but don’t come off as pushy. Be grateful always. Cook healthy meals. Never miss a milestone. Lean in. Be “balanced.” Be everything to everyone.

It’s no wonder so many working moms feel like they’re failing, even when they’re doing an incredible job.

There’s this unspoken (and spoken) message in our culture that says if you really loved your kids, you wouldn’t want to be away from them. That wanting to work—or needing to—somehow makes you less of a mother. It’s nonsense. But when that message is baked into the air we breathe, it’s hard not to internalize it.

What Working Mom Guilt Feels Like

Working mom guilt can sneak up in a thousand ways. Maybe you’ve felt some of these:

• At work: You’re physically present but mentally distracted, wondering if your baby is napping, crying, or taking their first steps without you.

• At home: You’re thinking about unfinished emails or a deadline you’re behind on, and then you feel guilty for not being “present enough.”

• In your heart: You question if you’re missing out. You worry your child will grow up and say you weren’t there. You wonder if your career ambition is selfish.

If this is you, I want to remind you: You can love your child more than anything and still love your work. These two things can coexist. In fact, they often fuel each other.

Why the Guilt Runs So Deep

There’s no one-size-fits-all explanation, but here are a few reasons why working mom guilt can feel so heavy:

• Outdated gender norms still whisper that moms should be the primary caregivers, even when both parents work outside of the house.

• Social media paints a picture of stay-at-home bliss that conveniently skips the hard parts.

• Lack of systemic support (hello, unpaid maternity leave and sky-high childcare costs) adds stress and makes choices feel like sacrifices.

• Internalized expectations from your own upbringing or community might conflict with the life you’ve built.

It’s okay to acknowledge that this is hard. You’re navigating a system that wasn’t designed with your well-being in mind.

Let’s Reframe the Narrative

What if we shifted the conversation from guilt to value?

You’re showing your child that moms are whole people—with dreams, talents, and goals. You’re modeling what it looks like to contribute to the world, to balance priorities, to keep going even when it’s hard. You’re teaching resilience, work ethic, and what it means to pursue something you care about.

That doesn’t make you less of a mom. That makes you a role model.

And here’s a secret: Kids don’t need perfect. They don’t need 24/7 attention. They need love, security, and a caregiver who is emotionally available and attuned. If working helps you feel more grounded, purposeful, or financially stable—guess what? That helps your child, too.

Practical Ways to Navigate the Guilt

While the guilt may not disappear overnight, here are a few ways to ease its grip:

1. Check the story you’re telling yourself.
Are you saying “I’m missing everything” when the reality is you’re present in so many meaningful ways? Try to replace guilt-based thoughts with more compassionate ones: “I’m doing my best,” “I’m allowed to love my work,” “My child is safe and loved.”

2. Find (or build) a support system.
Surround yourself with people—friends, coworkers, family, or a holistic therapist for mothers—who support your working mom journey. Sometimes just hearing “me too” can lighten the emotional load.

3. Redefine what “being there” means.
Being there for your child doesn’t mean never leaving. It means being emotionally available when you are with them. Think about the time you’re spending with your child in terms of quality, not quantity. A loving bedtime routine, a cuddle after daycare, or simply being fully present for 10 focused minutes matters more than a full day of distracted togetherness.

4. Let go of perfection.
You won’t get it right all the time—and that’s okay. Your child doesn’t need a perfect mom. They need a real one. And that includes all your imperfections, passions, and boundaries.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

If you’re a working mom struggling with guilt, I want you to hear this: You are not selfish. You are not doing it wrong. You are a whole person who is doing your best to raise a human and show up in the world with purpose. That’s something to be proud of.

You don’t have to choose between being a good mom and being a fulfilled individual. You’re allowed to want both. And you’re absolutely capable of having both—even if it’s messy and imperfect and full of late-night questions.

Give yourself grace. You’re doing incredible, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

If working mom guilt is weighing you down, know that you don’t have to carry it alone. Talking to a perinatal or maternal mental health counselor can help you process the pressure and reconnect with your worth. You deserve support, too.

Feeling Pulled in Two Directions? Could Counseling for New Moms in Houston, TX Help?

If you’re chasing deadlines by day and bedtime routines by night—while juggling guilt that you’re not doing enough—you’re not alone. Wanting a meaningful career and a meaningful relationship with your child doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you human. At Sarah Duran Psychotherapy, I offer counseling for new moms in Houston, TX who are ready to release the guilt, reconnect with their values, and make space for both ambition and motherhood.

You don’t have to choose between your career and your kids.
You don’t have to pretend the guilt doesn’t exist either.
Let’s talk about what thriving on your terms could look like.

👉 Reach out today to schedule a consultation.
👉 Learn more about counseling for working moms and maternal mental health.

👉You’re allowed to want both—and you deserve support along the way.

More Support for You and Your Family at Sarah Duran Psychotherapy

We know that working mom guilt is just one part of a much bigger picture. At Sarah Duran Psychotherapy, we honor the layered, complex realities of motherhood—including the grief, pressure, and transitions that often accompany it. In addition to counseling for working moms, we offer support for reproductive trauma—including infertility, pregnancy loss, and birth trauma—as well as play therapy to support your child’s emotional wellbeing. Whatever you're carrying, you don’t have to carry it alone.