Regulating Big Emotions in Motherhood: Tools from a Postpartum Anxiety Therapist in Houston, TX
Let’s just name it: motherhood is a lot. It’s beautiful and full of love, yes—but also loud, messy, and emotionally overwhelming. I’m a postpartum anxiety therapist here in Houston, and I sit with moms every day who whisper things like: “I didn’t think it would feel this hard,” or “I want to jump out of my skin when I hear my baby crying.”
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Whether you're a brand-new mom or deep in toddler territory, navigating the emotional terrain of motherhood can feel like being tossed between love, worry, joy, frustration, and exhaustion—all before lunchtime. One of the most common struggles I help moms with is learning to regulate big emotions—especially when anxiety or rage feels like it’s steering the ship.
Today, I want to share a few of my favorite regulation tools—gentle, doable strategies that come from the world of trauma-informed parenting and nervous system science. These are inspired in part by the amazing work of Robyn Gobbel, who teaches that parents (just like kids) need support to calm, center, and find their way back to themselves.
Why Regulating Our Emotions Matters in Motherhood
Let’s start with a quick truth: your emotions aren’t “too much.” They’re messengers. Anxiety, anger, and sadness are not signs you’re failing at motherhood—they’re signs your nervous system is working overtime. And for many new moms (especially those dealing with postpartum anxiety), your brain is stuck in protective mode—constantly scanning for danger, anticipating meltdowns, or panicking when things feel out of control.
When you’re dysregulated, everything feels harder. You might snap more easily, feel weepy or withdrawn, or live in a state of constant tension. Add a crying baby to the soundtrack, and you’ve got a recipe for overwhelm. Learning to regulate isn’t about becoming emotionless—it’s about helping your body and mind return to a place of safety and connection.
Because here’s the thing: regulated parents are better able to co-regulate with their kids.
What Is Co-Regulation, Anyway?
Co-regulation is the process of calming and connecting with another person through your presence—your voice tone, your facial expression, your body language. Babies aren’t born with the ability to regulate their own emotions. You’ve experienced this firsthand when your baby requires rocking, shushing, or over forms of your presence to calm them when they are upset. Your child’s nervous system learns to regulate through yours. But you can't co-regulate if you’re constantly running on empty.
That’s why parents need their own tools to regulate first.
As Robyn Gobbel reminds us, "We can’t expect ourselves to be calm, connected, and regulated without support."
So let’s talk tools. Here are several that I teach in my practice and use in my own life as a therapist and mom.
1. Start with the Body: Bottom-Up Regulation
Sometimes our emotions are too big to talk our way out of. This is where bottom-up regulation comes in—working with the body first to send signals of safety to the brain.
Try This:
Grounding through touch. Grab something comforting—a soft blanket, a smooth stone, your favorite mug of tea—and notice how it feels in your hands. Or if you’re holding your baby, notice the feel of their tiny hand in yours.
Cold water splash. Splashing cool water on your face or holding an ice cube can help snap you out of an anxiety spiral.
Move your body. Shake your arms. Walk outside barefoot. Do a silly dance in the kitchen. Movement helps discharge stress.
2. Name What’s Happening
Once your body is calmer, you can bring in top-down tools—using your thoughts and words to make sense of the experience.
Try This:
Say to yourself: “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. That’s not a failure—it’s a sign I need care.”
Practice the “name it to tame it” strategy. Labeling emotions ("I'm feeling anxious and overstimulated") actually reduces their intensity in the brain.
You don’t need to “fix” everything—just noticing your feelings with compassion is incredibly powerful.
3. Use the Power of Sensory Anchors
Robyn Gobbel talks about “building regulation through sensory safety.” That means using your senses—sight, smell, sound, touch—to anchor yourself back to the present.
Try This:
Light a candle you love and take three slow breaths.
Keep a “regulation basket” nearby with calming sensory items—lavender lotion, textured fidgets, headphones with soothing music.
Look around the room and find 5 things that are blue (or pick any color). It helps orient your brain away from panic.
4. Create Predictability and Rhythm
New motherhood is inherently unpredictable, but building little pockets of routine can help your nervous system feel safer.
Try This:
A morning ritual: light stretches, a song, a minute of breathing while your coffee brews.
An evening wind-down: dim lights, no screens, a cup of chamomile tea.
A daily check-in: ask yourself, “What do I need today?” and answer honestly—even if it’s just five quiet minutes.
5. Regulation Through Connection
Sometimes, we can’t calm ourselves alone—and that’s okay. We’re wired to need each other. When you're dysregulated, reach for connection.
Try This:
Call a friend or fellow mom and say, “Can I vent for 5 minutes?”
Text your partner: “I’m tapped out. I need help regulating before bedtime.”
Consider therapy or a support group where you can safely be held in your experience.
Robyn Gobbel says, “We regulate through relationship.” You don’t have to be strong all the time. Let someone show up for you, too.
6. Practice Tiny Moments of Regulation Throughout the Day
Regulation isn’t one big fix—it’s built in small moments. A deep breath while the baby cries. A hand on your heart while you change a diaper. A whispered “I’m doing the best I can” when everything feels hard.
These micro-moments send your nervous system the message: “We are safe. We can handle this. We are not alone.”
You Deserve Support, Too
Here’s the truth: mothers can often be the emotional center of the family—but that doesn’t mean you should carry it all alone. If you’re in the postpartum period (whether that’s weeks, months, or years out), and you’re feeling flooded, anxious, or numb—it’s not a personal flaw. It’s a sign your nervous system needs care.
As a postpartum anxiety therapist here in Houston, I help moms slow down, reconnect with themselves, and learn to navigate their emotions with compassion and confidence. You don’t have to white-knuckle it through motherhood. There’s help. There are tools. And there’s a way forward that feels more sustainable.
If you’re looking for support, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.
You Deserve Support, Too
Regulating your nervous system can offer small moments of calm, but if you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally drained, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Therapy can be a powerful place to slow down, feel seen, and begin to heal.
At Sarah Duran Psychotherapy, I offer postpartum anxiety and depression therapy in Houston, TX for moms who are doing their best in the middle of sleepless nights, identity shifts, and emotional ups and downs. Together, we’ll create space for you—your feelings, your needs, and your well-being.
Learn more about postpartum mental health by exploring my blogs.
Support is here when you’re ready. You don’t have to carry the weight of it all by yourself.
More Support for You and Your Family
While postpartum anxiety and depression therapy is a central focus here at Sarah Duran Psychotherapy, we know motherhood and family life come with many layers. That’s why we offer additional support for the unique challenges you may be facing. Whether you're navigating reproductive trauma—such as infertility, pregnancy loss, or birth trauma, or you're seeking play therapy to support your child’s emotional growth, you’ll find compassionate, personalized care here.
