Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts: Understanding and Coping with Scary Thoughts in Houston, TX
If you’ve landed here, there’s a good chance you’re feeling overwhelmed, confused, or maybe even a little frightened by the thoughts that have been swirling through your mind since welcoming your baby. First, let me say this clearly and with all the compassion in my heart: you are not alone, you are not broken, and you are not a bad parent.
My name is Sarah Duran, and I’m a licensed perinatal mental health counselor based right here in Houston, Texas. I specialize in counseling for new moms which helps new parents navigate the emotional rollercoaster that often comes with pregnancy, birth, and those tender (and exhausting!) postpartum months. Today, I want to talk about something that isn’t discussed nearly enough: postpartum intrusive thoughts—those scary, unwanted thoughts that can leave you wondering what’s happening to you.
Let’s dive in. Gently.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, sudden thoughts, images, or urges that pop into your mind. They can be disturbing, feel “out of nowhere,” and are almost always completely out of alignment with your values, intentions, and desires. In the postpartum period, they often center around your baby and their safety.
Here are a few examples of what intrusive thoughts might look like:
“What if I drop the baby while going down the stairs?”
“What if I accidentally hurt them during a diaper change?”
“What if I snap and do something I regret?”
“What if I leave the stove on and something catches fire?”
Reading these may already make your chest feel tight—and if so, I want to offer a deep breath and this reminder: having a scary thought is not the same as wanting to act on it.
In fact, people who are most disturbed by these thoughts are the ones least likely to ever act on them. These thoughts are not a reflection of who you are; they’re a symptom. And in many cases, they’re a normal, albeit extremely unsettling, part of the postpartum experience.
Why Do Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts Happen?
Your body just did something extraordinary—and let’s be real, pretty intense. Whether you gave birth vaginally, via cesarean, or became a parent through surrogacy or adoption, your life just changed dramatically. The responsibility of caring for a fragile new human can feel overwhelming, and combined with the following factors, it’s no wonder intrusive thoughts can creep in:
Hormonal Changes: Estrogen and progesterone levels drop sharply after birth, which can impact mood, anxiety, and thought patterns.
Sleep Deprivation: Lack of REM sleep affects your brain’s ability to regulate emotions and thoughts.
New Responsibility: You are suddenly responsible for a tiny, helpless being, and that can heighten vigilance and anxiety.
Isolation: Many new parents feel cut off from their usual support systems, especially in the early months.
Cultural Silence: We rarely talk openly about the messy, dark, or scary parts of new parenthood—leaving many feeling ashamed or afraid to reach out.
In Houston, I see this all the time—strong, loving parents shaken by the sheer intensity of postpartum anxiety. Many of them confess their thoughts only after several sessions together, whispering them with tears in their eyes, afraid they’ll be judged or that someone will take their baby away.
So let me say this: you can talk about these thoughts safely. You deserve help and understanding, not shame or fear.
The Difference Between Intrusive Thoughts and Postpartum Psychosis
This is an important distinction I want to make because it’s a common fear among new parents: “Am I losing my mind?”
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted and ego-dystonic—meaning they feel repulsive to you. You don’t want to act on them. You may feel sick, ashamed, or horrified when they happen.
Postpartum psychosis, on the other hand, is a rare and serious condition where a person loses touch with reality. It may involve hallucinations, delusions, or confusion. People experiencing postpartum psychosis may not be aware that their thoughts are unusual, and they may believe they’re being called to act on them. This is a medical emergency and needs immediate attention.
If you're unsure where your experience falls—or if you're just feeling unsafe or overwhelmed—please reach out for professional support. In Houston, we have resources, crisis lines, and postpartum therapists (like me!) who can help walk you through this with care.
How to Cope with Intrusive Thoughts
Okay, now that we’ve named what’s happening, let’s talk about what you can do.
1. Recognize and Name the Thought
You might say to yourself, “This is an intrusive thought. It’s not a reflection of my true self. It’s my brain trying to protect me in a weird, hypervigilant way.” Naming it reduces its power. Intrusive thoughts thrive in secrecy.
2. Don’t Fight the Thought
This sounds counterintuitive, but trying to push the thought away or “force it out” can actually make it louder. Instead, practice noticing it, then letting it pass. You might imagine the thought floating down a river or drifting past like a cloud.
3. Practice Grounding Techniques
When the anxiety spikes, try grounding yourself in the present. A few ideas:
5-4-3-2-1: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.
Deep breathing with long exhales.
Hold a cold object (like an ice cube) and focus on its texture and temperature.
4. Talk to Someone Safe
This can be a trusted friend, your partner, a postpartum support group, or a postpartum therapist. Talking out loud helps break the cycle of shame and secrecy. If you’re in Houston, I host both one-on-one sessions and small group spaces where we talk about the real stuff of new parenthood—including thoughts like these.
5. Consider Professional Support
Sometimes intrusive thoughts are part of a larger pattern of Postpartum Anxiety or Postpartum OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). These are treatable conditions, and counseling for new moms can make a huge difference. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), and mindfulness-based strategies are particularly effective.
Medication can also be part of the picture—and in many cases, it’s extremely helpful and safe, even for breastfeeding parents. A perinatal psychiatrist or OB-GYN familiar with postpartum mental health can help guide this decision.
You Are Not Alone: A Note to Houston Parents
Here in Houston, we have a vibrant, diverse, and growing community of new parents. We’re also lucky to have more and more professionals trained in perinatal mental health (yay for progress!). Whether you're navigating this journey in the Heights, Sugar Land, Montrose, Katy, the Medical Center, or beyond, support is available.
And remember—healing doesn’t mean “never having a scary thought again.” It means those thoughts no longer control or define you. It means you learn to live with more compassion, more tools, and a lot less fear.
Final Thoughts (The Kind That Bring Peace)
I’ve sat with countless mothers, fathers, and non-binary parents who’ve whispered things like:
“If anyone knew what I was thinking, they’d take my baby.”
“I must be a monster.”
“No one else feels like this.”
And to each of them, I say what I’m saying to you now:
You are not a monster. You are a good parent. Your scary thoughts do not define you. You are worthy of support, understanding, and peace.
If you’re in Houston and looking for a safe, nonjudgmental place to talk, I’d love to meet you. Whether you’re ready for counseling for new moms, want to join a support group, or just want to ask a few questions, I’m here. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Resources for Postpartum Support in Houston
Here are a few local and national resources to keep on your radar:
The Motherhood Center (Houston) – Classes, lactation, counseling
Postpartum Support International (PSI) – Support groups, mentors, and perinatal resources
Houston Area Women’s Center (HAWC) – Support for mothers in crisis
The Montrose Center – LGBTQIA+ inclusive mental health care
If You're in Crisis
If you ever feel like you or your baby are in danger, please get help right away. Call 911 or head to your nearest ER. For non-emergency support:
Postpartum Support International Helpline: 1-800-944-4773 (Text: 503-894-9453)
Harris Center 24-Hour Crisis Line: 713-970-7000
You are doing brave, beautiful, and deeply important work. Keep going. Healing is possible—and you are not alone.
Worried About Your Thoughts? A Postpartum Therapist in Houston, TX Can Help
Scary, intrusive thoughts after having a baby don’t make you dangerous—they make you human. If you've been spiraling in silence, unsure whether it's safe to speak what’s been running through your mind, know this: a postpartum therapist in Houston, TX can offer a judgment-free space to help you make sense of it all. You don’t need to “prove” it’s bad enough to get support—you just need to show up as you are.
Your thoughts are not your truth. Your fear doesn’t cancel your love. And your healing is not only possible—it’s already beginning.
Learn how counseling for new moms can help you feel calmer, safer, and more like yourself
You are not alone. You are not broken. You are worthy of peace.
More Support for You and Your Family at Sarah Duran Psychotherapy
Intrusive thoughts can be one of the most isolating parts of new parenthood—but you don’t have to face them in silence. At Sarah Duran Psychotherapy, we offer compassionate, nonjudgmental care for postpartum anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and the hidden emotional struggles so many parents carry. In addition to working with a postpartum therapist in Houston, TX, you can find support for birth trauma, fertility grief, and the complex realities of parenthood long after the early weeks have passed. However scary your thoughts may feel, you are not alone—and help is here when you're ready.
